How to be Emo
by SassyChip
Summary: Uchiha Sasuke has been called many things, but emo will not be one of them. Narusasu. Crack ;-;
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer- Not mine. Never going to be. *Sobs in corner* I don't make any profit off manipulating such characters but yeah.. not mine.

"So, Uchiha-san right?" Shizune pushed her glasses up skeptically, scanning over her laptop. "Yes." The man in front of her nodded. Looking away the screen she started, "You are requesting immediate attention from Dr. Tsunade about the issue of your...emo-ness?" The secretary had to admit people coming into this clinic usually had the most unusual requests, so she wasn't one to judge. Trying to regain her composure she hastily grabbed a clipboard and got comfortable in her seat. "Could you please brief me with the history of your…problem?"

-Emo boy coming through-

"Ei Sasuke." He heard the annoying voice yell from downstairs. Nevertheless, Sasuke chose to ignore it. "Sasuuuuuke." The whining started again. Loud footsteps could be heard trudging up the stairs as the Uchiha continued to ignore the source of the voice.

"Come onn Sasuke I'm hungry!" A certain blond head barged into his room, kicking the door open while doing so. "Yo emo boy!" Like a black cat, the typing stopped abruptly. Sasuke kicked his chair away and turned his head to face Naruto with the most vicious glare he could muster.

"Excuse me?" He gritted through his teeth, staring at the excessive amount of orange in front of him. Uchiha Sasuke has been called many things in his life, but emo was not one of them.

"Sasuke it's almost 7, we have to eat or else my stomach can only take so much!" Naruto started to whine again, completely oblivious of the icy glares currently coming his way.

"What did you call me?" Sasuke stood up throwing his computer on the bed behind him. Naruto has been getting way too comfortable around him.

"You mean emo boy?" Naruto realized it was probably that time of the month for Sasuke again. Ever since moving in with him, little by little he began to find out the weird components that made up his character and apparently the Uchiha seemed to have certain monthly tantrums that irked Sasuke for no reason. Naruto called it the Uchihan period. Laughing at the thought he walked over and tipped his toes, trying to reach for a kiss from Sasuke. Surprisingly enough, he was denied. "What happened?" Naruto teasingly joked and punched the man in front of him.

"Naruto, I am not emo in any way shape or form." The raven hissed threatening which translated to a pout in Naruto's eyes. He walked towards his closet, taking off his tie and changing into his usual black t-shirt. Ignoring the eyes glued to him, he took of his pants and put on his signature black cargo pants. Looking at himself in the mirror, he felt pleased with his all black attire for the day and gave one more haunting glare to his boyfriend.

"Whatever you say." Naruto laughed, closing the door behind him.

Pfttttt…Uchiha Sasuke was anything _but_emo. Or so he thought.

Over the next several days, everything seemed normal, except for one thing. Namely Uchiha Sasuke. Turning his head back and forth he made sure no one was around and slumped onto the bed, quietly opening his laptop. At the slight sound of wood cracking he spun his head around and froze, slapping his laptop shut like a deer caught in headlights. _Wait, this is my house, why am I acting like the thief. _The superego asked. _Probably because you're about to search up "unimaginable things."_The Id helpfully supplied. (1) "Shut up!" Sasuke shouted at the voices in his head.

Quietly, he opened his computer again and went onto Gurgle, tapping against the edge of his laptop he debated over what he should do. His pale fingers slowly tapped against the keyboard, using only his index finger he hovered over the black keys before slowly pressing a vowel, a consonant, and finally another vowel. Within 0.55 seconds, 300,000 results popped up. Sasuke sat dumbfounded. Was he really going to stoop so low as to search up the word? Yes.

Something the Uchiha would have never publicly admitted was the fact that perhaps when his roommate/boyfriend called him an _ _ _ boy, he wasn't a hundred percent sure about something yet. Namely what the terrifying three-lettered-word meant. Yup. Uchiha Sasuke actually doesn't know something! (Shocker) But as the brooding and tactful man he was, he knew always to deny anything people accused him of without debate, even if he didn't exactly know what it meant. Setting his mind back to his screen, he began to read up about his accusation. Around 10.68 seconds in he realized something was wrong, Imo, free video calls and chats. Imo- Download. International Maritime Organization. Nevertheless, confusion flooded over him. Was Naruto trying to say, oh Sasuke you… video call/maritime organization boy? Of course, no one could ever be sure with the blonde but using his Uchiha detection skills he went out on a limb and assumed this wasn't what the blonde was referring to.

Closing his laptop, he sighed in defeat. Wait. He, Uchiha Sasuke was sighing in _defeat_? Not in this lifetime. Letting out an annoyed huff he grabbed a writing pad as he furiously scribbled down words, letting out all his irritation onto the poor piece of paper. Before he knew, Operation find out what _ _ _ boy Naruto called him meant plan B was formed.

Read and review! I think I'll update another chapter soon.


	2. The Ultimate plan Bi

Disclaimer- No snotty excuse. I don't own Naruto

Looking over at the boy who was currently indulging himself upon bowls and bowls of ramen he tried to think of a good way to bring this up. There was no good way to bring it up. "So, dobe," he began, "Remember a couple days ago you were in my room?" Naruto continued to eat.

"I'm always in your room." He stated, stuffing his face. He didn't understand why Sasuke would bother talking to him while he was in taking such heavenly foods, nor did he care. Nothing stopped him from ramen, not even his overly high levels of sodium. Although thinking back, he vaguely remembered a time when Sasuke decided to ban him from keeping instant ramen in the house. It didn't end well.

"So, I recall being accused of being a three-lettered-word boy." Sasuke started cautiously, still keeping his head in the book he was "reading" while glancing up at Naruto. The sound of slurped noodles filled the room as he waited for a reply. "Right, so about that three-lettered-word, I have to say, I did not expect things like this to come out from you, I mean do you even know what the word means?" His monologue continued as the splurping sounds got louder and louder.

"Dobe are you listening!" A high-pitched shout came followed by the Uchiha glare towards the innocent cup of ramen.

"Wha-?" Naruto's muffled voice asked as Sasuke winced, watching a small drop of oil trickle down his chin. He took a deep breath calming himself.

"Remember the three-lettered-word you called me?"

"I call you a lot of three-lettered-words." Naruto replied ignorantly.

"I mean.. _that_ three-lettered-word" Sasuke moved his arms around, trying to get his meaning across with a series of complex Uchiha hand motions.

"That. "That "is a four-lettered word isn't it?" The blonde looked up fearfully at the fumes of smoke almost flying out of the raven's head. He slurped his last bit of ramen. Often times when the imaginary warning signs of smoke came out of the Uchiha's head, he knew something was up and that something was not going to end well. Usually with his beautiful ramen confiscated. He had to think fast, Sasuke was getting Uchiha pissed. "He..he..oh, _that _three-lettered-word, of course! How could I forgot ne!" He exclaimed quickly. Sasuke's inner ego began to take over him. _Quick quick, he knows what you're saying, make him spell it out. Make him spell it out. _

_Roger that. _

_Wait. How are we going to do that?_

The veins on Sasuke's forehead began to twitch uncontrollably as he placed his hands over his ears. Creating an overly fake smile, Sasuke looked at the questioning blonde. "So..spell out the three-lettered-word!" He laughed, once again brining out his peculiar hand motions. Naruto began to laugh with him. _What three-lettered-word! _

"Gee Sasuke, do you seriously not know how to spell?" He accused nervously. There was no reaction from the raven.

Inner ego:

_Warning warning! Retreat! Retreat! He's getting suspicious, crap what do we do. What do we do!_

_Slam him to the ground and kiss him!_

_Ok..wait no!_

_Right no, umm, ummm, use plan Uchiha. Initiate plan Uchiha!_

Sasuke's vein twitched again. Right. Plan Uchiha. Aka the Uchiha glare…2.0. He took a deep breath and looked sideways from the blonde, his eyes rolling to face him as he raised his eyelids. Naruto squirmed in his seat. Why did he drink all that soup earlier? "Alright, umm let's see teme, A-S-S." He quickly mouthed the words at the raven. The silence returned once again, along with Naruto's growing fear of death.

Sasuke's face remined blank, sinking into deep thought while his inner mind was tearing apart. "Dobe, I mean the_ other_ three lettered word." He gritted out with surprising calmness. That calmness however, translated to something completely different in the blonde's mind as he racked furiously, trying to remember what he said. There were too many words. Ass. Emo. His face gloated up. "_Oh." _He whispered. "_Oh." Again. "OH!" _The Uchiha was not pleased. "If you want to fake an orgasm, this is really not the time." Two pairs of blue eyes rolled. "Emo bastard."

"Yes, that's it. Spell it." Sasuke pressured.

"E-M-O." Naruto drawled out, finally being able to breathe. A flash of black passed through his eyes as he followed the figure, watching the door slam in front of him in confusion. Sasuke's terrifying smirk could be seen from the other side of the door while his inner self plotted and danced over their amazing success. He was going to find the meaning of the word and kill the dobe. The door opened once again as an awkward Uchiha trudged in, grabbing his laptop and closed it again. The confusion on Naruto's face didn't waver.

REVIEW. **Sinks down to knees and begs**


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